Dear Autoflush Toilet,
You ain't foolin' me! You're not a bidet!
Why does your sensor think my back is transparent?
You're horrible.
Love,
Steve
P.S. Now that you're thinking about me pooping, I'd like to point out that I deftly avoided use of any onomatopoeia.
P.P.S. Mostly because I couldn't connect the dots between this post and the punchline using the consignment store named "Grunts & Postures" near the first apartments of my wife and I.
P.P.P.S. First one to comment with a "full of shit" joke gets 15 demerits.
P.P.P.P.S. Yes, despite the demerits, it is still worth it.
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